Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
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Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
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Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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