but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
