its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
