Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
