were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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