he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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