At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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