Well apparently he's into motor boating.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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