Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize