Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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