I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize