I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
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It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
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My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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