I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
