OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
