i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
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we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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