FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.