i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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