I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
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