the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
