fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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