Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Randomize
