reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
