Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Success! We fucked roommates!
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
