lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize