I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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