Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
