We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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