god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
