McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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