She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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