eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Randomize
