Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
19 Confessions From A Dude With A Micropenis
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
17 Exes Admit Why They Were Crazy In Their Past Relationship
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.