Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
