i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
