Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
