guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
