Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
