So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
