I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
