Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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