I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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