"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
