apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
