If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
