No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
