she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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