this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
