I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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