I feel like I'm in dance class right now
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
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WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
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Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
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