Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
is wine microwaveable?
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
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He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
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My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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