I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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