Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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