This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.