There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!