would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.