i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
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Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
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Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????