You made me cry and you don't even care
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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