I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Randomize
